Thursday, September 23, 2010

You can lead a _____ to water, but you can't make him drink.

You thought that the "______" was horse, right?  Wrong, it's "the client who employs the casting director".  A few days ago I mentioned that I had a commercial audition for Guinness beer, and I even gave my loyal reader(s) a dramatic reenactment. 

Today I received a call from the on-camera faction of my commercial agency notifying me of a call-back for said Guinness commercial.  It was a call-back for a national spot PLUS internet.  This could be a 6 figure job.  HOLY POTATOES! I thought.  I breathed a sigh of relief because at that time my career was on the right track.  Day player role on Comedy Central last week, call back for national spot tomorrow. 

5 minutes later my phone rang again.  My call-back had been cancelled.  The air left the room and I took a seat.  The rest of the conversation I can't really recall, but I am sure I was cordial and understanding.  After all, my agency didn't fubar on the call-back, the client, Guinness, did.  Clients often don't know what they want or what they are looking for and change their minds all the time.  When I auditioned, the hero was to be a celebrity, now it's a basketball player.

What was the specific reason for my call-back cancellation? I am too tall.  The Guinness drinking heroes of the spot will be professional basketball players, and they want the bland beer drinkers to be shorter.  I am six foot three.

Everyone is short compared to Patrick fucking Ewing.  I am now drinking whiskey. 

Sad?  Yes.  Broken?  No.  Half in the bag?  Hell yeah.

But I can now rejoice in the fact that two casting directors in NYC would hire me based on my acting skills.  Now it's just a question of intangibles falling into place.

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