FOUR LOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Masterpiece Chorba: Four Loko from Crandall Miller on Vimeo.

Audition recap

I feel very positive about yesterday's audition. 

The script was about two friends buying electronics throughout their lives.  The role of "guy" is always the first to buy a certain item and the role of "friend" always buys a similar but better item second and busts his friends chops about his missive.  Desktop vs laptop, HD TV vs 3D TV etc.....you get the gist.  We see the friends in the 80's, 90's, present day and distant future continuing the joke.  It's a funny script and I enjoyed swinging the bat on this one. 

People were going in pairs.  This can either be really great or really bad, as you are paired at random.  I would feel extremely comfortable going in with say, my friend Mark.  We did a lot of improv comedy together over the years and are great friends to this day.  I would not feel comfortable going in there with just anyone.

Yesterday, I lucked out.  The guy I went in with was really funny actually.  His name was Dominic and we worked well together I think.  The discrepancy in size was hilarious and he saw it as soon as I did and went for it.  The guy came up somewhere between my elbow and shoulder.  I have lightish hair and a goatee, he has dark hair and a scruffy beard.  I am a bigger guy and he is trim.  Our appearances were quite different obviously and it worked to our advantage. 

We ran through the script twice and were allowed to improvise a bit with the text.....always a pleasure doing that.  We each had a crack at "guy" and a crack at "friend".  We would work well in either role too.  I would either be the larger bully guy who always rags on his friends purchases, or the big dumb oaf who makes poor purchases.  He would either be the weaselly insulter type or he would play the nebbish kind of role. 

Callbacks are scheduled for the 28th.  Please Santa, all I want for Christmas is a national commercial.

Commercial Audition tomorrow! [UPDATE]

Yippy kay-yay....

I have an audition tomorrow for a national commercial.  I am quite enthused.  It's for a national electronics store.  I am also set to audition for a brand new CD - it's going to be fun to meet some new people in the business.  This shoots in LA the first week or so of January.  I've never been to Lala land and I would love to check it out. 

And I gotta tell ya, the description sounds a lot like me...actually it sounds like they wrote it about me.  Here it is:

Friend -  Loud and outspoken, but very likable.  He always likes to be the center of attention and usually is.  He's a jokester and likes busting peoples balls.  He's the type of person that always seems to have things go his way most of the time, but he doesn't realize how lucky he is. 

So yeah, that's me in a nutshell.  There's no script to work on, so I assume it's either an improvisation (yay) or a cold read/quick study (double yay). 

I feel really great about this audition.  I just have to be me.  They will love me, because that's what they want!

UPDATE:  turns out.....it's not a new CD, I just momentarily forgot that this is the same CD I auditioned for for the Chobani Yogurt spot.  I remember the CD laughing hysterically at my takes, when I didn't get the call back I figured they went for someone older looking.  Glad they like me over there!

H&R Block Audition

There I was, at my real estate desk....feeling sorry for myself.  My nose hurt from sparring the evening before and I took 1/2 of my daily dose of Lovazza (a prescription strength fish oil* (I know, I know)).  Suddenly my cell told me (via a blinking red light) that I had a new e-mail.

It was my commercial agency, I had an audition for the next day.  H&R Block, national usage, broadcast, Internet, the whole kit and caboodle.  Big job.  COOL!  There were no sides sent as an attachment, just where to be, when and who to play.  I was to audition for the role of "Construction Worker".  The notes said "blue collar" and "casual" and "very real".  The shooting dates are pretty soon, December 13th to the 15th. 

So this morning, when I was getting dressed for a day of real estate work and this audition, I put on an outfit that could look blue collar, but also acceptable for RE work.  I put on a light blue collar dress shirt, rolled up the sleeves and went out the door.  I don't want to be one of those people with a roller bag filled with 10 changes of clothing.  CD's either like you or they don't.  And besides, one of my really great friends works in construction management, and every day he wears khakis, a collared shirt with a pair of boots.  So, there!

When I arrived there, everyone was in Carhart coats, thick flannels etc.  One guy even had on a hard hat.  Ha!  Oh well.  It didn't say "dress like a construction worker" it said "casual".  I believe I was casual. 

Anyway, I can't go too into the script, but it was an improv between 2 other construction worker types and I. We just joshed back and forth about our current project and how long it would take.  I felt good about my "very real" and "casual performance".  There wasn't so much to do, in the ad copy, we don't have any words.  There is a VO and a few characters talking about how bad we are at working construction.  Basically, I just said a lot of "yes boss" and "on it, boss man" and "sure thing".

So I suppose this commercial casting is all about "the look", even more so than the usual. 

We'll see, but I believe I am DUE for a little luck.  :-)

*Does the idea of "prescription strength fish oil" spook you a bit?  It spooks me for sure.  What makes it prescription strength?  Is it really pungent? The oil of many more fish than what you usually find?  Or is it a high potent fish, like a mackerel?  Or, is it a rare fish?  Like the black sea unicorn bass?  If you ever catch one of those, release it immediately, they are really really really (really) endangered. 

An Actors tool: Charming the pants off the viewer.

Dean Winters is absolutely killing it with these All-State "Mayhem" commercials.  He is charming and irresistable in them.  Winters employs many tools during these spots, but his charm is the strongest move I see him make.  He also employs mystery/secret/confidentiality, relationship, opposite, game-play and importance.  This one is my favorite:


 "My scent? Like making love to a lumberjack."  That kills me every time.  This guy must be raking it in right now, it's a series of national commercials.  A conservative estimate is $250k this year.

Here is one excellent example of Winters mixing it up with the rate, inflection, pitch and dynamic and the line...."Because that's what I do" is especially nailed.  Check it out:


Oh and one more thing, see how he works the frame starting at the :22 mark? Ha!  This guy is excellent.

AT&T audition today and dramatic video reenactment

This was a lot of fun,  I am not sure how well I did so here is the rundown....

I arrived at the audition location and signed in, filled out a size card and had a digital picture taken.  I looked at the script and the commercial went down like this:

Extreme close-up: We see a man in a dentist chair with various tubes, tools and other apparati in his mouth. His mouth is wide open and his speech is impaired.  He gives distressed looks as the tools file, zing and gurgle.  He looks more and more distressed until his general rage gives way to tears of joy and it is revealed that he is not in pain at all (!), but rather he was watching a movie on his smart phone on the AT&T network.  The storyboard specified "offbeat is OK, but keep it natural." I saw this as a carte-blanche of sorts for my expressive face. 

So we had to mimic this for the camera.  I went in, slated my name, opened my mouth to the point of pain and gave the CD my most distressed and pained looks and gave way to tears of joy.  Yes folks, real honest to goodness tears.

"That was excellent." The CD said..."I could really sense that you were in pain there, and then at one point it could have gone another way.....so do it again but with more tears of joy.  Go."

My ducts were tapped.  I couldn't bring anymore tears, it didn't matter how I breathed or for how long, they just weren't coming on the second take. 

Will this matter in the end?  No one knows.  I'd like to think that my first take should be adequate enough for a call-back.  But like my coach says "If you are what they need, they will call you.  If you aren't they won't."

And that's that. But honestly, I do not envy this CD at all, because he now has to sift through hours of people doing this....

You can lead a _____ to water, but you can't make him drink.

You thought that the "______" was horse, right?  Wrong, it's "the client who employs the casting director".  A few days ago I mentioned that I had a commercial audition for Guinness beer, and I even gave my loyal reader(s) a dramatic reenactment. 

Today I received a call from the on-camera faction of my commercial agency notifying me of a call-back for said Guinness commercial.  It was a call-back for a national spot PLUS internet.  This could be a 6 figure job.  HOLY POTATOES! I thought.  I breathed a sigh of relief because at that time my career was on the right track.  Day player role on Comedy Central last week, call back for national spot tomorrow. 

5 minutes later my phone rang again.  My call-back had been cancelled.  The air left the room and I took a seat.  The rest of the conversation I can't really recall, but I am sure I was cordial and understanding.  After all, my agency didn't fubar on the call-back, the client, Guinness, did.  Clients often don't know what they want or what they are looking for and change their minds all the time.  When I auditioned, the hero was to be a celebrity, now it's a basketball player.

What was the specific reason for my call-back cancellation? I am too tall.  The Guinness drinking heroes of the spot will be professional basketball players, and they want the bland beer drinkers to be shorter.  I am six foot three.

Everyone is short compared to Patrick fucking Ewing.  I am now drinking whiskey. 

Sad?  Yes.  Broken?  No.  Half in the bag?  Hell yeah.

But I can now rejoice in the fact that two casting directors in NYC would hire me based on my acting skills.  Now it's just a question of intangibles falling into place.

Audition for Guinness Beer Commercial

Whew I am spent.  I just woke up from a 30+ minute power nap at my real estate desk.  Actors and Actresses: stop messing around with temping, catering or whatever side job you have and get in real estate.  What other job is 100% flexible, has an uncapped earning potential and allows desk naps?  It's a trick question, it's only real estate.

Anyway.  I worked late yeterday, until around 8pm showing apartments around Hells Kitchen, and I was thinking about the next day (which is now earlier today).  What did I have today, you ask.  I answer: a commercial audition for Guinness.  That beer is friggen delicious.

The CD was the same one who gave me a call back for the Kraft mayonnaisse gig.  My slot was 11:55am and they were recording in groups of three.  The CD told us that they are casting 9 regular guys and one hero.  The hero will be someone famous.  The premise is that 9 out of 10 drinkers order boring beer at a bar.  Are you that tenth drinker?  You are indeed if you order Guinness. 

"Ok guys, this will be the best audition of your whole week" said the CD "First we slate our names, then we talk about whatever, then I will film each of you one by one standing at a bar drinking a beer and waiting for your friends.  Don't be interesting, just stand there, it's impossible for actors to nothing, but try.  After a while just walk off camera."

The CD recognized me from the Kraft callback and asked me if I was getting tanner.  I told her yes.  It's funny, I've gotten a little tanner, but she probably noticed the weightloss and wasn't sure what the difference was.  So the CD had us improvise back and forth and just talk with each other about whatever.  My conversation with the other two actors ranged from my tan, to what the middle guy did (he taught) to what the other guy does.  He doesn't have a day job and just does push-ups the whole day. 

It was actually a very fun audition.  The other two guys did a lot of stuff when they were up there, they looked pretty interesting to me.  Which is cool, but also the opposite of what the CD specified.  They would stand there, mime sipping their beers, mime burping, whistle and then mime order another beer.  That was very interesting.  They also stood there for 20+ seconds.

I stood there for maybe 10+ seconds with my beer in my right hand and my arms down by my pockets and stared off into space.  A specific point in space, nontheless.  After that time I gave a slight nod, as I would if I saw my friends enter the bar and walked off camera.  YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY BE MORE BORING THAN THAT!  Here is basically what I did:

When I walked out of the audition I saw my great friend Mark.  I hadn't seen Mark in I don't know how long, even though we talk via phone frequently.  It's funny, when I walked into the audition holding room I thought "I wonder if Mark will be in the waiting room."  When he wasn't I was a bit deflated, and when I re-entered the room after my camera time, there he was.  When he was done we had a cigar.  It was great to see him again.  It'll be awesome when we both book the job and hang out September 30th :-)

I love this direct TV russian commercial

When you are done seeing this hilarious commercial, click here to see my current blog postings. 

Commercial I did

So someone did indeed cast me.  Here is the commercial; it is 100% improvised.  It's for Feed Granola.  Check em out here I did this along with the talented team of Gut Punch and their internal advertising faction.  Check out Gut Punch and all of their hilarity and talent.