Thursday, January 27, 2011

FOUR LOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Masterpiece Chorba: Four Loko from Crandall Miller on Vimeo.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

King Henry The Four (loko) coming tomorrow.......

Be very very afraid.  Starting tomorrow you will no longer go by the calendar as we know it.  You will describe things as being before tomorrow's debut or after tomorrow's debut. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I am slowly becoming a ginormous meathead

Who has two gym memberships?  Seriously?  I think besides me, maybe a tan juice head gorilla or two.  The kind of guy with a yin yang tattoo on his right shoulder an donning his back left shoulder...a panther tearing out of his flesh. (It's like a sick 3D tat, bro!)

Just four blocks away from our apartment is a gym that offers a bunch of MMA classes.  You can take however many of them you want for $39.95/month with no commitment.  The two boxing sessions a week did me well, but in order for me to cut more weight and live a long and happy life with my wife, I need to drop perhaps another 25-30 pounds. I'm going to take classes at this other place 3 other days a week.

/puts on sleeveless Affliction t-shirt

My goal is to be 225 by April 1st and 210 by June 1st.  I last weighed myself about 6 weeks ago and was 250 pounds.  I think I've dropped a bit since then.

/plucks eyebrows

Anyway, this other gym is pretty sick.  Tonight from 7-730 is a grappling class specifically geared towards MMA fighting styles.  Of course, I will NEVER ever spar in an MMA style.  Those dudes wear 4oz gloves!  What the heck could that do?  It essentially stops you from being cut on the first punch and that's about it.

/flexes tricep in the mirror

Wednesday is my acting class, so I can't workout that day.  Then on Thursday there is a MMA self defense class from 7-8 and then a bag work class from 8-845.  Friday I box and Saturday from 1030-1115 is MMA self defense followed up from 1115 to 12 is MMA style "XTREME CONDITIONING".

/shaves armpits

Bro, I'mma be mad savage in like 3 months. You don't even know, kid.  Shit is legit real quick.

/browses for mexican steroids

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Onion Audition and "Call of Duty" SNAFU

I enjoyed auditioning for the onion this morning.  Since I was cast in episode 10 of the new show "Onion Sports Dome" I detect an elevated amount of friendliness over there coming my way.  I met their needs and now they are even nicer to me...which is......nice?  Yes, it's nice.  Anyway, I was there to read for an Internet webisode bit, and after my first take the CD gave me an adjustment.  I of course, being a consummate professional, took said adjustment.  He laughed.  It was.....nice.

"Great Phillip!  Let me get something else for you to read......I'm not sure what yet."
"OK, I'll just hang out for a bit."

And hang out I did.  For about 2 minutes.  I passed the time by reading the onion, of course. 

He came by with two more sides for me to work on.  After about 5 minutes of preparation, I went in again and nailed them both.  I guess it just comes down to whether they think I look like the part.  We'll see.  On a very positive note, the CD said "We'll see you soon!"

So that's pretty great.  They'll cast me in one of the three parts I read, or they'll  bring me back soon enough.  Hopefully both happen.

Additionally, as I waited for the uptown 6 train to take me to my real estate job, I noticed an advertisement for "Call of Duty".  For those of you who don't know, that is a video game where you play a soldier and you shoot people and take on various missions.  It's awesome.  It's a great game.  They do however, need to maybe tweak this campaign a bit, with the Tuscon tragedy still in the news.

Right?  I'm not alone on this one, yeah?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Weekend wrapup

Filming went really well with the guys from Gut Punch.  I edited down Falstaff's "sherry" monologue from Henry IV, ii and changed all references for sherry to four loko.  I think that this is going to turn out really great.  Here is a finished project we did as a spoof on Jersey Shore:

The Jersey Hulk from Crandall Miller on Vimeo.

After that, Mrs PhillyRay and I went over to a great friend's place for a delicious and overindulgent dinner and watched the Steeler's sick come from behind victory.  Great day.

My real estate clients' deal just got approved and they are signing leases tomorrow, which is really great and I have an audition tomorrow for the Onion again.  I guess they really like me over there!  Good stuff these last few days.  Here's to hoping this trend continues....

Friday, January 14, 2011

Audition/meeting and weekend acting plans

This week has been a busy one.  Not really for acting, but mostly for real estate.  Since things are slow at the moment, I decided to plug away at real estate this week and try to close some clients.  So far no applications or lease signings, but I have been meeting up with 3 people a day or so....which is a good amount for January.  Real Estate is similar to acting in the sense that one morning you wake up and have no prospects, then by lunch time things can be buzzing. 

This is a good thing because it helps me stay positive but that false sense of hope can serve as a drawback.  I try to ignore the latter and embrace the former.  So, I've been previewing apartments like a crazy banshee and have found some great deals.  I went to preview what was listed as a one bed for $2600 in a doorman building in Midtown East, and lo and behold, it was actually a 2 bedroom.  No brokers fee.  So I am marketing the Hades out of that place.  So far, nothing to show for it....but I do plan on showing it at least 3 more times today. 

This morning I traveled to Alphabet City to meet with a director/producer of a new show that is about people who went through a dramatic change.  I hope that my weight loss of 55+lbs is dramatic enough for these guys because people on the show receive a $5,000.00 wardrobe!  That would be really really great.  I recycled the same writeup that I sent to that Gold's Gym casting notice.  I hope I get this, because I am trying to turn that specific negative into a positive.

Tomorrow Gut Punch is filming the aforementioned Sherri-sack monologue fauxmercial.  I am also considering changing "sherry" to "loko" and "sherrysack" to "four loko".  It would be a lot more topical and with that insane caffeinated malt liquor receiving press lately, it could perhaps go viral. 

I originally mentioned this fauxmercial idea here.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Onion Sports Dome, Boxing, Black Swan and Rabbit Hole

Ok......I am a huge fan of the Onion Sports Dome.  The show is hysterical, and I am excited for my bit to get on there. (Fingers crossed it isn't cut)  They nailed SportsCenter so well.  Even the hosts look like they could really host SportsCenter.  They succeeded with the patter that anchors use on ESPN's flagship show.  Some highlights for me were: "The Who Would You Kill?" segment and the A-Rod musical, where an oiled up and sexually ambiguous latin man gyrates on the stage and sings about his hatred for "Eric Cheeter" and how much he wants to have sex with women.  Hysterical.  I laughed and also covered my mouth in shock a few times, it was really really funny.  It has a lead in of Tosh.0, which is really strong to have too.  I expect big things for this show. 

Boxing has been great to me, my weight loss and as a general outlet, but I gotta chill for a week.  My left wrist is still a bit tender from Monday a week ago.  We were sparring and I was pretty gassed.  There hadn't been class for 2 weeks or so because of the holidays and snowstorms etc.  My technique went out of the window and I rolled my left wrist when I threw a jab to my sparring partner's body.  I want to box for fitness indefinitely, so there is no reason to rush this recovery.  A solid week off should do wonders for me.  I'll just watch what I eat for the most part and I should be fine. 

"Black Swan" is absurd.  It's a fun movie, but the director just tried to shock people the entire time.  With that being said, the performances of the actors were really great.  Natalie Portman blew me away.  Mila Kunis was also excellent, and I was really captivated by Vincent Cassel and Barbara Hershey. 

"Rabbit Hole" is very sad but also very good.  I was especially taken by Miles Teller. 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Class etc.

My acting class has been on hiatus since a few days before Christmas.  We return tomorrow.  I have a scene in the works with a talented actress named Stacy.  We are putting up (for the second time) Clifford Odets' "Waiting for Lefty".  I really enjoy the scene, because a voice like Odets' is missing in today's playwright world.  Clifford captured the essence of the great depression in this play.  Stacy told me during rehearsal that "It makes her sad when she sees a family on the subway and I can just tell that the husband can't provide for them."  I believe I am paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it was about. 

Not being able to provide is a huge fear of mine, and I'm sure that I'm not alone.  I've had a few bad months here and there with regards to real estate or acting and when the rent is due, it's due.  So I try to channel those feelings and ride with that emotion.  "That" emotion for me is a mix of panic, self doubt, self loathing, perhaps some depression and general rage.  Few things in the world are worse then when I bust my hump the whole week and Friday, when checks are cut....I have nothing to show for it.  That is one long and slow train ride home, let me tell you. 

The character in the scene is "Joe".  Joe is a cabby, he has a wife and two children.  He arrives home to find his wife in the apartment, but all of the furniture is gone.  All of their possessions have been repossessed.  His wife put the kids to bed "so that they wouldn't know they missed dinner."  Then, of course, fireworks ensue between Joe and his wife, Edna.  Joe threatens domestic violence.  Edna calls Joe a "four star loser" and tells him that she is going to pay a visit to an old flame of hers, who is prospering.  "He still keeps a picture of me in a locket on his chain!"

Emasculated, robbed and cuckolded; Joe's back is up against the wall.  This is just the second scene of the play, and the first time the audience sees these two characters!  We are set to rehearse today for about an hour.  Those are two benefits of being a rental agent: an open schedule and access to empty apartments. I haven't had to pay for rehearsal space in years!  Last time we put up the scene, it was lacking conflict, and that was my mistake.  Today and tomorrow night during class, I'm going to let it rip.  I'm going to toss technique out of the window and allow the scene to take me wherever it does.  It's going to be visceral and I will lose myself in it.

More to come: Black Swan and 8 rounds of boxing sparring.  Today, tomorrow, or the day after....stay tuned.