I was on TV this past Tuesday...

Here is the link.  Check it out.  I show up around 45 seconds.  Hope all is well.

Onion Callback with the director

Well, that was fun!  Just came back from the offices for The Onion.  This was call backs for the moviegoer role that I blogged about a few entries ago.  I also received a new pair of sides to work on.  The new ones were particularly hilarious.  The idea is that google, in a tremendous display of power has messed with gmail rendering is useless and toying with google calendar etc.  Just the thought of google shutting down paralyzes me with fear.  I am not joking. The role of office worker was a "man on the street" blurb.  It was quite funny. 

Sidenote: do you even know anyone who doesn't have a gmail account?  The only person I know who still uses an AOL account is my Dad, but in his defense it's tied to a business and he has had it since 1997 or so.  He also has the same username on gmail that he uses often so I suppose it doesn't really count. 

Just last week, a real estate client of mine gave me her email account for getting in touch during the day.  It was a hotmail account.  Gross.  Perhaps mindspring has some novelty to it....but hotmail?  That just seems cheap to me.

The call back went very well, I did each line twice and they gave me adjustments between each take, and I feel as if I took them well and nailed the takes.  You can never tell, of course...but they do seem to bring me back often.  So it's just a question of me matching what they need in a performance. 

Hotmail?  Ew.

Onion Audition and "Call of Duty" SNAFU

I enjoyed auditioning for the onion this morning.  Since I was cast in episode 10 of the new show "Onion Sports Dome" I detect an elevated amount of friendliness over there coming my way.  I met their needs and now they are even nicer to me...which is......nice?  Yes, it's nice.  Anyway, I was there to read for an Internet webisode bit, and after my first take the CD gave me an adjustment.  I of course, being a consummate professional, took said adjustment.  He laughed.  It was.....nice.

"Great Phillip!  Let me get something else for you to read......I'm not sure what yet."
"OK, I'll just hang out for a bit."

And hang out I did.  For about 2 minutes.  I passed the time by reading the onion, of course. 

He came by with two more sides for me to work on.  After about 5 minutes of preparation, I went in again and nailed them both.  I guess it just comes down to whether they think I look like the part.  We'll see.  On a very positive note, the CD said "We'll see you soon!"

So that's pretty great.  They'll cast me in one of the three parts I read, or they'll  bring me back soon enough.  Hopefully both happen.

Additionally, as I waited for the uptown 6 train to take me to my real estate job, I noticed an advertisement for "Call of Duty".  For those of you who don't know, that is a video game where you play a soldier and you shoot people and take on various missions.  It's awesome.  It's a great game.  They do however, need to maybe tweak this campaign a bit, with the Tuscon tragedy still in the news.

Right?  I'm not alone on this one, yeah?

Weekend wrapup

Filming went really well with the guys from Gut Punch.  I edited down Falstaff's "sherry" monologue from Henry IV, ii and changed all references for sherry to four loko.  I think that this is going to turn out really great.  Here is a finished project we did as a spoof on Jersey Shore:

The Jersey Hulk from Crandall Miller on Vimeo.

After that, Mrs PhillyRay and I went over to a great friend's place for a delicious and overindulgent dinner and watched the Steeler's sick come from behind victory.  Great day.

My real estate clients' deal just got approved and they are signing leases tomorrow, which is really great and I have an audition tomorrow for the Onion again.  I guess they really like me over there!  Good stuff these last few days.  Here's to hoping this trend continues....

Onion Sports Dome, Boxing, Black Swan and Rabbit Hole

Ok......I am a huge fan of the Onion Sports Dome.  The show is hysterical, and I am excited for my bit to get on there. (Fingers crossed it isn't cut)  They nailed SportsCenter so well.  Even the hosts look like they could really host SportsCenter.  They succeeded with the patter that anchors use on ESPN's flagship show.  Some highlights for me were: "The Who Would You Kill?" segment and the A-Rod musical, where an oiled up and sexually ambiguous latin man gyrates on the stage and sings about his hatred for "Eric Cheeter" and how much he wants to have sex with women.  Hysterical.  I laughed and also covered my mouth in shock a few times, it was really really funny.  It has a lead in of Tosh.0, which is really strong to have too.  I expect big things for this show. 

Boxing has been great to me, my weight loss and as a general outlet, but I gotta chill for a week.  My left wrist is still a bit tender from Monday a week ago.  We were sparring and I was pretty gassed.  There hadn't been class for 2 weeks or so because of the holidays and snowstorms etc.  My technique went out of the window and I rolled my left wrist when I threw a jab to my sparring partner's body.  I want to box for fitness indefinitely, so there is no reason to rush this recovery.  A solid week off should do wonders for me.  I'll just watch what I eat for the most part and I should be fine. 

"Black Swan" is absurd.  It's a fun movie, but the director just tried to shock people the entire time.  With that being said, the performances of the actors were really great.  Natalie Portman blew me away.  Mila Kunis was also excellent, and I was really captivated by Vincent Cassel and Barbara Hershey. 

"Rabbit Hole" is very sad but also very good.  I was especially taken by Miles Teller. 

Actors need to have momentum

A working actor in my class told me that while there is no such thing as a big break, most of his work can be traced back to one original job.  Hmmm, that is a very interesting thought.  You do one job, and the DP likes what you did, or you caught the producers eye and he remembers you for a future project.  I can see how this can be true.  I can actually trace back my securing of a ultra-spacious rent stabilized one bedroom in Astoria Queens to an off-off Broadway production of "Merchant of Venice" in June 2005.  That was 5 years ago, we moved into the aforementioned apartment last year.  I am not shitting you.  I am so not shitting you. 

In June 2005, a mere 2 weeks after I graduated from Union College with a theater degree I saw in Backstage an audition notice for a non-union (but paying) production of Merchant.  Great, I will audition for this I thought.  I went to the audition on Manhattan's lower east side.  It was held in a former middle school turned performance center on Suffolk Street.  It was about 100 degrees outside and around 110 inside the waiting hall, and man oh man there were many many people there to audition.  Merchant boasts many male roles and three EXCELLENT female roles, including the highly coveted role of Portia. 

I came in with my "tennis balls" speech from "Henry V".  I had a callback about a week later, and bombed on the cold read for Graziano.  Either other people previously offered the role of Solanio turned it down, or Tim saw something in me.  I was cast.  I was elated.  From the audition I met an excellent actor, Ben Curns.  Turns out I saw Ben in a play the year before.  I thought he was awesome then, and I still think that today. 

Through Ben, I met his friend Mike Burdick.  Mike is an excellent playwright.  I did a bunch of shows with/for Mike.  Through Ben I also met his girlfriend at the time Synge.  Synge directed me in a show written by Mike.  Then Mike put on a showcase of a few of his plays.  One of the actors was a talented gent named Skid, he is Synge's sister. 

The next year when I helped start up Fire Island Shakespeare company, we ended up firing our director and an actor quit due to this.  We needed a third actor and a director.  We brought in Mike Burdick and Mike recommended Skid.  I saw Skid act, and thought he would be great.  So the cast was myself, Rob Brown and Skid Maher for "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: Abridged".  The three of us enjoyed about 50 performances together and the next year we continued the trend with "I Hate Hamlet!"

The next winter, Skid was in a show that an actor dropped out of.  The show was to go up in less than 2 weeks and they needed someone who was a quick read and not a quitter.  That's me.  On that show I met Laura Jo Schuster and Dee Beider, two very talented comedic actresses. 

The next summer I brought in Dee and LJ to act in "I Hate Hamlet".  LJ, Dee and I needed to run lines, and we went to LJ's apartment, which was only 3+ blocks away from where I lived.  I walked in the apartment and totally went apeshit.  I loved the place, I needed to live there.  It was HUGE. 

I hounded the super and  management company with phone calls until a one bedroom came available.  It was a mirror image of LJ's place and just one floor higher.  Our old apartment could fit in the living room of this place.  It was also 200 less than our old place and with laundry in the building. 

Ha. 

I hope that in 5 years, I can post something like this that traces back big money to Tuesday's Onion job. :-)

SAG AFTRA and AEA: To join or not to join?

Sometimes you don't even have a choice.  Look, I am a union guy.  I believe that actors should earn fair wages.  After all, coming up, we are the most ripped off profession in the world.  Just do a quick google search and you will see "networking seminars" on sale for $500+!  These seminars make outrageous claims like "You will have a huge career jump" or "You will brush shoulders with the who's who of the casting world." 

Lies I tell you, lies!

If these seminars were marketed towards any other profession they would be shut down and the organizers would be incarcerated.  I'm serious.  You can't charge money for an interview!  That is essentially what they are doing, too.  They call is "networking" - bullshit!  It's a friggen interview.  End rant.

The point of the above rant is that, by joining an acting union, you are making a stand for fair wages for fair work.  You are making a stand that employers should not only pay you for the day, but they should allocate a portion of that cost to your pension.  By joining a union you are effectively shoving your middle finger in the face of clip joints like "The Network" and "Actors Connection." 

Monday night, when I was on the phone with The Onion CD's and being offered a role, I was asked if I belonged to AFTRA.  I told them no, I belong to SAG.  They asked me if I was a "must join".  I told them "I don't think so." "If you were a must join, would you join?" 

Of course I would.  This would be the first job landed with my legit agency and I needed to get the ball rolling with them and I'd like to get in good with The Onion, as I love their sense of humor and they seem to bring actors back for repeat work.  What is a "must join?" You ask.  I answer: when an actor does an AFTRA job, he/she has 30 days to do as much AFTRA work as possible, then starting on the 31st day, if you want to work AFTRA jobs again you must join their cause, you must join AFTRA.  It's totally fair and I agree with it.  It also costs $1600.00 - so the good news is that I can now join AFTRA because I forgot that 2-3 years ago a JVC commercial I did was AFTRA.  Check it out here, it's the first clip on my comedic reel.  So unbeknownst to me, as of 31 days after March whatever 2008, I was an AFTRA must join. 

Since I was cast late Monday night, well after AFTRA was closed, The Onion was not able to get a definitive answer and I was unable to give them the correct answer.  That was my bad.  Either way I would have done the job and assured them that I would join AFTRA.  I hope they didn't get too much of a scare when they were notified that they had indeed cast a "must join" actor and was already on set.  Geeze, woe is me. 

So I will join AFTRA this week.  Mrs PhillyRay and I talked about this and she had a funny remark.  "Do you have anymore acting clubs to join or is that it?"  Ha, no worries Dawn, this is it. 

PhillyRay actor and card carrying member of SAG since 2005, AEA since 2009, AFTRA since 2010. 

I was a professional actor today.

Well, that was fast.  Yesterday as I was leaving my boxing class, I heard my cell ringing.  It was the casting office for the onion.  What I auditioned for earlier in the day had been pushed up to tomorrow and I was being offered the role.  I took it in a heartbeat of course!

Within an hour I had a finalized script emailed to me in addition to two alternate lines.  I also received my call time, I was to get in a 6:15am van at 14th and Broadway the very next morning.  Mrs. PhillyRay and I went out for a bite to eat to celebrate.

I felt joyous, at peace and relaxed.  It felt totally calm. I felt like I did on my wedding day.  Everything was falling into place, if only for a little bit.  It felt great.  I barely slept at all last night I was so excited.  Today was pure adrenaline and the shooting itself took about 2-3 minutes.  We filmed in Long Island, and it was supposed to be Cleveland.  I arrived around 7am, had breakfast at the truck, went on a van back to holding, filled out 4 identical contracts, had wardrobe check me and sat until it was time to go.  Go-time was around 12 noon. 

I will recap more for everyone tomorrow, as I have to memorize an audition piece that I'm gonna use on Thursday. 

Tomorrow's recap: a must-join AFTRA saga and learning to take a little sour with your sweet. 

Callback for The Onion Sports Network

"Are you a Cleveland Browns fan?" asked the Casting Director

"No," I answered "but I am a Mets fan; I can relate."

"Ha" grunted both casting associates.

"Would you like this read with a Cleveland accent?  A hard 'a' perhaps.?" I mused

"Yeah.....we're trying to avoid that." The CD said "Just slate your name."

That's how the callback started today at The Onion's corporate offices in SoHo.  I went there to read for a role called "Clevelander #1" and "Clevelander #2".  The idea was that Cleveland decided to move all of their professional athletes out of town and shut down their beloved and scrappy teams, the Cavaliers, Browns and Indians.

Each time I read they would say "Great!  Now do it like (additional direction)."  This happened a few times.  I like when that happens because it accomplishes two things.  One: they tell you EXACTLY what they want and two: you show them that you are able to take direction.  For those who don't know, a lot of actors can not take direction.  You tell them what to do, and they repeat exactly what they did before.  I can not imagine how frustrating that is. 

The Onion is very funny, loyal readers will know that I read it every day.  Like I have mentioned before, The Onion is launching two television shows at the moment.  Onion Sports Network is slated for Comedy Cental and The Onion News Network will get its air on IFC.  I am really excited about those shows. 

Another thing happened during the call back that got me thinking.  On my initial read, I decided to play an opposite.  The line was inherently sad and depressing, so I played it with a bit of a chuckle.  I arbitrarily made a decision.  I was told to try the line again, without doing the chuckle.  "It looks like you are in on the joke." he told me.  Obviously, I do understand that joke, but I was not indeed, playing it like I was "in on the joke".  Understand the difference?  To me there is a difference, but the CD's perception is the reality, and that is that. 

Actors, have you ever made a decision when auditioning and it was misunderstood?  If so, how did you bounce back?  I didn't argue with the guy or be like "Oh, actually.....I was playing an opposite there."  Ha!  Could you imagine?  Of couse that line would be delivered as snootlily as possible.  I'd be out that door so fast, ha.  I bounced back by following the direction and applying the best technique I possibly could. 

Now, I have to show apartments to hyper privileged people in NYC and I have to work on an audition for Thursday for the "39 Steps".  Fun!!!!

Busy week so far (long entry)

At then end of my last post, I mentioned that I would write about a Philadelphia audition.  While I will do that eventually, first I have to tell you about my audition on Monday for The Onion.  I haven't had auditions this close to each other in quite some time, so it's hard for me to keep track.  Anyway as Bob Costas says "We rewind..."

I was about to board the beloved and late arriving megabus and my bling starts to ring.  I answer the call and its my legit agent telling me that I have a requested audition for The Onion.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, I adore The Onion.  I read the website literally every day, I have done so since I was about 16.  Even on my honeymoon I had to find an internet cafe.  Side note: internet cafes in Venice are predictably expensive.  The Onion is in the midst of launching two television shows.  The Onion Sports network is going to be on Comedy Central and The Onion News Network is going to be on IFC.  This audition was for the OSN.  Normally I would be elated, but this time, my heart dropped to me knees.

An old friend was getting married the next day in Kennebunkport.  We needed to allow 6-7 hours for the drive up, the ceremony was at 430pm, my audition was at 1030am - that was the earliest possible time.  I told them, that I sadly, could not attend. F#############ck I thought. We drove up to Kennebunkport, forgot about the lost chance and danced the night away.  I had been having trouble with my blackberry's reception, so I just put it on silent and left it in the hotel room.

When we were in Portland my phone alerted me to a new message.  It was my agent!  My agent is usually very sweet, this time she sounded a bit perturbed.

"Phillip, its _____.  I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion.  Call me, 212 xxx-xxxx"

In her defense, I ALWAYS pick up the phone.  Literally.  On the first ring.  My acting career comes first.  So if I were to go MIA, well....this could definitely be a cause for concern.  The time was 6pm and it was Saturday, of course the office wasn't open.  Nevertheless I left a message.

"Hey it's Phillip calling!  I am confirming for Monday.  I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, but I'm up in Maine and my reception is in and out.  I hope the audition is still on the table and I'll call you Monday to re-confirm.   201-xxx-xxxx"

I called at 930am Monday morning  and the audition was on!  Hooray, I was all set for 330pm.  I got the sides and I noticed a peculiar piece of direction.  Typically before the words you are supposed to say there will be directions in parentheses.  It will look like this...
                                                        
                                                               AGENT
                                                              (perturbed)
Phillip, its your agent.  I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion.  Call me, 212 555-6823!

  As you can see, if you are auditioning for the role of my agent in the made for TV movie based on my life, "Banished to Extra Work: The PhillyRay Story", you would read the lines with a bit of an edge, add in some conflict and perhaps raise your voice a bit here and there.  Got it?  Great.  Now the sides for the onion had a bizarre word in parentheses, eh not really bizarre, just uncommon.  It was "inscrutable".  I remembered that the word existed, but that's about it.  I looked it up into google.searchmachine_internet (all one word) and typed "define inscrutable."  Apparently it is synonymous with mysterious, clandestine etc.   

Bingo.  One of my guideposts that my sensei has taught me is mystery/secret/confidentiality.  When I went in to the audition room, the CD asked me if I had any questions.

I said, "Yeah man, I do.  When you say inscrutable.....you want me to say the line with an element of mystery, you want me to hold back on what I know, like I'm not telling the whole story?"

The CD's eyes lit up.

"Ya know what?  I haven't seen that yet, I'd like to."

Realizing that I had potentially dug myself into a black hole of perilous acting I said "So would I! Ha."

As background, the role I was auditioning for was a professional body surfer who earns a comfortable living doing so.  His line was "I just try to keep my body straight and go as far as I can go." So I endowed the character with a sense that he knows that he is making a killing at a sport that chubby 8 year olds can do, so he wants his secret to be safe.  Boom, I did it, and the CD asked me to stay put because he had yet another script he'd like me to read.  That also went well.  After my second attempt at the second script he clapped his hands and said "Perfect!  Just like that!"

Ok, let's digest.  The difference between my audition and previous actors' auditions was that I looked up the word "inscrutable" and applied it to the frame work that I know.  His reaction was a pleasant one when I asked if he'd like to see it in a mysterious way.  To me, that means that no other actor tried that, at least successfully.  Will I get cast?  Who knows.  Do I have a fighting chance because I made a smart decision?

Absolutely.