Lately, my anger and rage has been getting the best of me. I can usually keep it inside and let it out at a proper time (gym, focusing on work, box of oreos etc) but yesterday I let it get the best of me. And I gotta admit, I dont feel bad about it. I was in Bed Bath and Beyond shopping for a new microwave with my wife (sidenote: all great stories start this way). We are in the kitchen gadget area. This silver haired woman ran up to us and sort of spoke to us sort of spoke aloud to herself and said: "I am looking for the knife that won't brown lettuce when you cut it." I think she meant this thing. I didn't have to offer this woman an answer, I didn't even have to respond. After all, I don't work for the store, she interrupted a conversation with my lovely wife and I don't know this woman. I started to think in reverse and answered, "Well they are made of neon colored material so..." (my thought was, hey you could look for something brightly colored, maybe that will help.) She interrupted me and said "Guhh, I care not what they are made of I just want to know WHERE they are!!!!" Then she walked off, more like walked away. About 10 feet. I followed her. My response? "I hope your cane breaks and you fall on your face."
And who says, "I care not.." anyway?!!? Are you a Queen in charge of a feudal kingdom? Blow me. For reals.
My wife was, justifiably so... embarrassed. I was not. Fuck her (the woman, not my wife). You don't ask a random person for help (and interrupt them in the process) and then when they offer you some help - albeit a convoluted answer - you don't get all bitchy on them. Besides, do knives really brown lettuce? I dont think so. Trust me on this one, I've chopped a lot of fucking lettuce in my life. I worked as a prep cook and I swear all I did was dice onions, chop lettuce and breakdown whole chickens and pigs.