Callback for The Onion Sports Network

"Are you a Cleveland Browns fan?" asked the Casting Director

"No," I answered "but I am a Mets fan; I can relate."

"Ha" grunted both casting associates.

"Would you like this read with a Cleveland accent?  A hard 'a' perhaps.?" I mused

"Yeah.....we're trying to avoid that." The CD said "Just slate your name."

That's how the callback started today at The Onion's corporate offices in SoHo.  I went there to read for a role called "Clevelander #1" and "Clevelander #2".  The idea was that Cleveland decided to move all of their professional athletes out of town and shut down their beloved and scrappy teams, the Cavaliers, Browns and Indians.

Each time I read they would say "Great!  Now do it like (additional direction)."  This happened a few times.  I like when that happens because it accomplishes two things.  One: they tell you EXACTLY what they want and two: you show them that you are able to take direction.  For those who don't know, a lot of actors can not take direction.  You tell them what to do, and they repeat exactly what they did before.  I can not imagine how frustrating that is. 

The Onion is very funny, loyal readers will know that I read it every day.  Like I have mentioned before, The Onion is launching two television shows at the moment.  Onion Sports Network is slated for Comedy Cental and The Onion News Network will get its air on IFC.  I am really excited about those shows. 

Another thing happened during the call back that got me thinking.  On my initial read, I decided to play an opposite.  The line was inherently sad and depressing, so I played it with a bit of a chuckle.  I arbitrarily made a decision.  I was told to try the line again, without doing the chuckle.  "It looks like you are in on the joke." he told me.  Obviously, I do understand that joke, but I was not indeed, playing it like I was "in on the joke".  Understand the difference?  To me there is a difference, but the CD's perception is the reality, and that is that. 

Actors, have you ever made a decision when auditioning and it was misunderstood?  If so, how did you bounce back?  I didn't argue with the guy or be like "Oh, actually.....I was playing an opposite there."  Ha!  Could you imagine?  Of couse that line would be delivered as snootlily as possible.  I'd be out that door so fast, ha.  I bounced back by following the direction and applying the best technique I possibly could. 

Now, I have to show apartments to hyper privileged people in NYC and I have to work on an audition for Thursday for the "39 Steps".  Fun!!!!

Acting Class, a breakthrough of sorts. Another Dr Phil video too.

So last night in acting class I had a bit of a breakthrough.  I put up my "Breaking Bad" monologue again, loyal readers will know which one I am talking about here.  It went pretty well, better than last time even.  But Steve told me that he could tell that I was still acting.  He could see the technique being applied and he could tell that I was processing information and putting it to work etc.  Normally this is a good thing, it shows that I am applying my craft, that I am doing my homework so to speak.  For someone at my level, it's not really that good of a thing.  I need to get past that threshold and enter the realm where no one...not even me, knows where I am going next.

Got it?

Think about it for a second, when you talk to your friends you don't know where the conversation will lead or what your reaction will be, your friend's reactions will be etc.  You just talk.  It's so natural, its the most natural.  Ubernatural.  Au Naturale.  It's almost like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix when he finally sees how he can manipulate the system, and he sees nothing but code.  The  breakthrough is equally dramatic.

In many ways I am very close to acting in the matrix, to put it crudely.  We did a simple exercise where I performed my monologue but played with a pen and studied the pen and put all of my focus on the pen.  The trick here, is getting the focus off of yourself.  By doing so, I was completely surprised by where I went vocally and physically.....and I gotta tell ya, I wasn't even thinking about doing those things.  Like the first kiss in a romantic comedy starring Freddie Prinze Jr, it just happened. 

But how can I achieve this?  How?  All actors want to get to this level.  The only way is through technique.  Steve tells us that there are only 16 ways to say a line.  You just have to work on those ways.  It's practice.  Do you think that Michael Jordan practiced dribbling and free throws?  You bet your ass he did.  Do you think that Nadal practices his serve?  Damn straight he does.  Do you think that the guy from Bravo's "Flipping Out" practices being sassy and botoxed out of his grill?  Yes, he does.  Without question.

This is a a good thing.  In many ways, I.AM.RIGHT.THERE.  And I also have a lot of work to do, but each time that you practice working on technique, the session time gets shorter and shorter because it's deeper into your bones.

End piece.

Acting is slow this week, so I shift focus

When acting slows down there are two things to do.  One is, you pine and sob that things aren't going your way.  That works, if you consider "working" crying into a glass of Canadian Club.  You are quite tasty Canadian Club, but you are a terrible psychiatrist. Another way is, you focus on other things that will have a positive effect on you, your life, your relationships or your career. 

I have my Wednesday acting class with Beauchamp, that's great.  It's a great place to focus on sharpening my skills and working on other skills that I have yet to acquire. 

I also focus on getting better at boxing.  It's a lot of fun, boxing.  I also enjoy that I can kick a little ass, if need be.  I find that when rehearsing a monologue or a scene and I do something physical, even if it's just walking around the apartment - its really beneficial.  I learn the text faster and for some reason, the time flies by.  I also focus on general exercise.  Like yesterday, I went for a 5+ mile run around 11102.  Surprisingly, I am not sore today and I finished the run in just under an hour.  Hopefully, everything will fall into place.

After all, John Lennon once said "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."  That's cool, I can get behind that. 

He also said that he was a walrus.  Goo goo ga joo. 

What about you, loyal reader(s) - What do you do to ease tension and stress when things aren't going how you want them to?

I believe in Dennis Dixon

Not much going on with acting this week aside from me having class tomorrow.  Gut Punch has two projects in post production, so we're just waiting for those to get wrapped up before moving on to the next thing. 

If you've read my bio on this site, you will note that I am a Pittsburgh Steeler fan.  Next Sunday is week one of the NFL season and I am chomping at the bit.  The Steelers ne'er do well QB Ben "You can do whatever you want with it" Roethlisberger is suspended for the first 4 games, and Dennis Dixon has to step in at the helm.  He was the front runner for the Heisman Trophy his Sr year before blowing out his knee mid-season.  Many sportswriters and Oregon Ducks enthusiasts agree, he would have won the award had he not gotten injured. 

Still, he is 0-1 as a starter.  Last year he took on the Baltimore Ravens on the road (a formidable challenge even for Ben Rapelispenis.  He showed flashes of competence here and there, including a boot-leg play that turned into a 30 yd scamper to the end zone.  However, he did also throw a late pick in OT......so, yeah.  Although, the late pick was not the straw that broke the camels back.  He had the Steelers up with 2+ minutes left in the game and the Steelers usually stalwart defense gave up a touchdown to the Ravens.  This drive was highlighted by a frustrating 3rd and long conversion by Ray Rice, courtesy of a flagged tackle by James Farrior. 

The Steelers face the Falcons at home, then the Titans away, then the Bucaneers away then the Ravens at  home.  Since the first few games of the season are typically won/lost by defense (as offenses have yet to find their rhythm) I can see the Steelers starting the season 3-1. 

Monologue from Acting Class

Here it is with the mischief/charm, confidentiality and R.I.P.D. and game play role play.  It's come a long way I think.  I'm still struggling with moving too quickly on to the next point before I take enough time with a current point/thought/idea/notion.  That'll come around though.  Here it is.  Leave contract negotiations in the comments


Monologue from "Breaking Bad" on AMC from Phillip Chorba on Vimeo.

So that's that. 

Acting class recap and production tonight

Happy 90210 everyone.  I am blogging from the Peach Pit today.  For the past 2 weeks or so I have been growing sideburns in an ode to Dylan.

Something tells me that Luke Perry pulled them off a tad better when he was my age.  But can YOU PULL IT OFF BETTER THAN LUKE PERRY?  Post your pictures in the comments.  The winner get a paisley necktie!  I'm tots serious. 

Anyway.....acting class went well last night.  Really well, in fact.  I feel as if Steve and I have figured out what I have to do.  I have to attack each scene with a sense of mischief, confidentiality and it wouldn't hurt to add in some game-play role-play and vary up my rate, inflection, pitch and dynamic.  I know that I mentioned the mischief revelation a few posts ago, but it came as a huge relief to hear Steve say so as well.  Steve said that if I employ these tactics, I will attain a certain amount of "societal acceptability" with my work.  If I am too big, too broad, too.......cartoonish, I won't get cast.  (Unless the scene specifically calls for that.)  I've only had one part that required me to be cartoonish, and that was for an actual cartoon on Spike.com - ha.

What do I mean by rate, inflection, pitch and dynamic?  Rate is the speed at which you deliver your lines.  Inflection is what word you choose to highlight.  Pitch means is your voice low like a bass or high like a heavy guitar solo "whaaaaaa!!!!"  Dynamic means the volume, like on a stereo.  Hint: stereos are what people used to listen to their music on before iPods.  Here is a demonstration:

So that's that.

Gut Punch is filming tonight for a new client.  We are still figuring out all the nuts and bolts etc, this will be great.  Filming from 7-12, so it'll be another long night.  Last night I didn't get home till around 1130 and I was out the door at 845am.  Class is back in session now, so I have to get used to peeling and pulling myself out of bed at 8am.  If I put water on the stove to boil for coffee and hop in the shower, it forces me to get going, and I am generally fine.  Besides, it's not like we have kids now, so I could theoretically sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays.

Speaking of Sundays, I am SO GLAD that football has returned.  Nay, ELATED, BEJOYED.  Bejoyed?  I think I just made up a new word.  I'm down with that.  Like loved, beloved.  Joy, bejoyed.

Coming soon: a re-creation of last nights monologue.  

Gut Punch Pre-Production: Actors, Directors, Producers all have to roll with the punches

Our initial top location choice looks like it's a big no-no.  The insurance has not come through, heaven forbid something should happen.  There will only be 8 of us or so, but still.....it just takes one light to fall on someones head and all of a sudden Arnold Diaz has us on "Shame on you!".  So as a well connected and well oiled comedy production teams are known to do, we fired off a few e-mails to each other and came up with another location.  We are now going to film in the penthouse of an advertising agency.  Supposedly, its all red and white in there, very mod.  This should go pretty well. 

Gut Punch is excited to earn actual money as a creative agency.  Ha.  This is life imitating art, and not the other way around.  I cast three background actors and I suppose I'll offer my services as a grip for the production.  I might even do the VO, this remains to be solidfied.  "Grip" for those of you who don't know are part of the production crew.  They are on the other side of the camera.  They carry things around: sandbags, lights, stands etc.  Hence the term, "grip". 

No auditions this week, but as always I have to perform, so I resumed making video tours with witty commentary for apartment ads on craigslist.  Here is the video:



If you are looking for a 2 bed that can convert to a three bed in the Upper West Side of Manhattan, oh boy.....do I have a deal for you!