My office is strange

We have a weekly meeting at my real estate job.  It's usually a mix of pep rally and fire and brimstone speeches.....and breakfast!  Usually, the office manager will walk across the street to Dunkin Donuts and get a box of joe or two and some bagels and call it a day.  No one really complains.  Its bagels and decent coffee.   Well.  Today, we ordered kosher food from a woman essentially operating out of her apartment kitchen.  Sounds gross and skeevy right?  Right.  But its KOSHER AND THEREFORE DEVOID OF BACON AND HAS BEEN BLESSED BY A RABBI! (So it must be good, right?)  Keep in mind this is 930 in the morning. 

Tartar sauce as a salad dressing killed me.  Murdered me.  It makes sense though......clams are not kosher, so how would they know that tartar sauce and fried clams are a match made in Goy heaven?  They would not.