Our initial top location choice looks like it's a big no-no. The insurance has not come through, heaven forbid something should happen. There will only be 8 of us or so, but still.....it just takes one light to fall on someones head and all of a sudden Arnold Diaz has us on "Shame on you!". So as a well connected and well oiled comedy production teams are known to do, we fired off a few e-mails to each other and came up with another location. We are now going to film in the penthouse of an advertising agency. Supposedly, its all red and white in there, very mod. This should go pretty well.
Gut Punch is excited to earn actual money as a creative agency. Ha. This is life imitating art, and not the other way around. I cast three background actors and I suppose I'll offer my services as a grip for the production. I might even do the VO, this remains to be solidfied. "Grip" for those of you who don't know are part of the production crew. They are on the other side of the camera. They carry things around: sandbags, lights, stands etc. Hence the term, "grip".
No auditions this week, but as always I have to perform, so I resumed making video tours with witty commentary for apartment ads on craigslist. Here is the video:
If you are looking for a 2 bed that can convert to a three bed in the Upper West Side of Manhattan, oh boy.....do I have a deal for you!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
New Gut Punch content coming soon and UPDATE
Gut Punch is scouting locations today for a Thursday shoot for our new client. We are very excited about this new client and their business model. I think that they will really take off and become the next big thing in social media. When it's finished you can bet your ascot that I will tell you where to go. Typically, I would have told you more about it, but we did sign a NDA. Word. We are also waiting on the finished product for the Jersey Shore Incredible Hulk parody. That's gonna be pretty hilarious.
Oh also, this is my 100th post. I feel pretty good about it. The blog is just a year old, and most of my posts have been, err, posted since March. That's a pretty good frequency I think. Tomorrow my acting class starts up again after a much needed 4 week break. I love the class, but its also good to step away and digest what I've learned and try to apply it.
I'm going to work on a monologue from last season of "Breaking Bad". For those who watch the show, it's Mike the Cleaner's monologue at the end of the "Half Measures" episode where he tells Walter about his regret of not killing a wife-beater back in the days when he was a beat cop. The wife-beater predictably killed his wife two weeks later. "...of course", the monologue goes. It will be a great exercise and challenge for me to keep the tone down and tell a story and keep the tempo flowing.
UPDATE: Well, its about boxing last night, not Gut Punch. Boxing went pretty well, I came home drenched as well. I'm up to the point where I am instinctively throwing counter-punches and following that up with a combo. I used to think "Ok, here comes his left hook so dip and counter with a left hook to his body." Now, I just do it. I'm not saying that I am at Keanu in The Matrix kind of levels, but I can see th ings coming around.
My footwork is improving too. I think that has a lot to do with the jump rope I've been doing. I begin and end a workout session with 300 jumps, varying up the speed and way that I do it. Double rotations, single foot jumps etc. I still cant do the cross, that's when my arms are crossed and I jump and I bring my arms back to the regular position and continue the jump. Got what I mean? I think that when that comes around I will be considerably more nimble and quick.
We had a light sparring session last night. Who I went against dictated what I could and couldn't throw. Against a 3 year boxer I could throw everytyhing but no hard rights to the head. Agaisnt a woman or someone new I could only throw a super light jab to the body to keep my distance.
Oh also, this is my 100th post. I feel pretty good about it. The blog is just a year old, and most of my posts have been, err, posted since March. That's a pretty good frequency I think. Tomorrow my acting class starts up again after a much needed 4 week break. I love the class, but its also good to step away and digest what I've learned and try to apply it.
I'm going to work on a monologue from last season of "Breaking Bad". For those who watch the show, it's Mike the Cleaner's monologue at the end of the "Half Measures" episode where he tells Walter about his regret of not killing a wife-beater back in the days when he was a beat cop. The wife-beater predictably killed his wife two weeks later. "...of course", the monologue goes. It will be a great exercise and challenge for me to keep the tone down and tell a story and keep the tempo flowing.
UPDATE: Well, its about boxing last night, not Gut Punch. Boxing went pretty well, I came home drenched as well. I'm up to the point where I am instinctively throwing counter-punches and following that up with a combo. I used to think "Ok, here comes his left hook so dip and counter with a left hook to his body." Now, I just do it. I'm not saying that I am at Keanu in The Matrix kind of levels, but I can see th ings coming around.
My footwork is improving too. I think that has a lot to do with the jump rope I've been doing. I begin and end a workout session with 300 jumps, varying up the speed and way that I do it. Double rotations, single foot jumps etc. I still cant do the cross, that's when my arms are crossed and I jump and I bring my arms back to the regular position and continue the jump. Got what I mean? I think that when that comes around I will be considerably more nimble and quick.
We had a light sparring session last night. Who I went against dictated what I could and couldn't throw. Against a 3 year boxer I could throw everytyhing but no hard rights to the head. Agaisnt a woman or someone new I could only throw a super light jab to the body to keep my distance.
Monday, August 30, 2010
An Actor should always be on his game
"To be an artist is to never avert your eyes." - Kurosawa
In addition to awesome things like sushi and ninjas, Japan gave us Kurosawa, who gave us the above gem. It's true. As an actor, I am constantly looking at people, studying them. Their movements, speech patterns, ticks - all of those things are fair game if I need to develop a character or endow an audition piece with some color. I even take the quote a bit further and never avert my eyes from potential work. You have to always look for work and for new ways to market yourself and leverage your talent. It's a hard racket. A lot of people want to be actors, so what separates you is of course, talent, but mostly drive and determination. I don't believe in the big break myth. It's bullshit - there, I said it.
Oh man, what am I even talking about? This is way too deep for me. I'm not like that. Here are some pictures of the bus I rode, cuz who really gives a crap about my life theory? Look at the skylight on the megabus. It's lifes little things that keep me entertained.
Not bad eh?
The megabus conveniently leaves from 31st street and 8th ave. Who needs the port authority. It smells like bum breath in there. And they have a room 100% dedicated for men who, apparently, like to stalk the handicapped and choke infants. It's a terrible, terrible place.
Hey, Port Authotrity, go shove it!
In addition to awesome things like sushi and ninjas, Japan gave us Kurosawa, who gave us the above gem. It's true. As an actor, I am constantly looking at people, studying them. Their movements, speech patterns, ticks - all of those things are fair game if I need to develop a character or endow an audition piece with some color. I even take the quote a bit further and never avert my eyes from potential work. You have to always look for work and for new ways to market yourself and leverage your talent. It's a hard racket. A lot of people want to be actors, so what separates you is of course, talent, but mostly drive and determination. I don't believe in the big break myth. It's bullshit - there, I said it.
Oh man, what am I even talking about? This is way too deep for me. I'm not like that. Here are some pictures of the bus I rode, cuz who really gives a crap about my life theory? Look at the skylight on the megabus. It's lifes little things that keep me entertained.
Not bad eh?
The megabus conveniently leaves from 31st street and 8th ave. Who needs the port authority. It smells like bum breath in there. And they have a room 100% dedicated for men who, apparently, like to stalk the handicapped and choke infants. It's a terrible, terrible place.
Friday, August 27, 2010
"When getting in good shape goes wrong" - Running Blunder
Today is going to be a busy day for me, so here is a "throwback jam" if you will from August 10th.
My loyal reader(s) know that on Mondays and Fridays I have a boxing class. I hate to miss them, but acting takes priority over boxing. Gut Punch is definitely acting, so I missed boxing last night. Upon returning home I decided to take a run. I went to this site to figure out a running path. It looked good. It would be 3 miles. Not bad, I can handle that. For those of you who have never been to Queens......this boro is why GPS was invented. There are streets, avenue, places and drives most of them are numbered. Some of them stop for no reason and pick up again a few blocks away. I've lived here for 3+ years and I still get turned around.
I think you know where this is going.
I made a wrong turn and wound up in the projects. Here is where I dun goofed up. Scroll down a bit and the pointer should be right by Vernon Blvd. Hint (it runs parallel to the river). I was supposed to take Vernon to Main and take Main to 12th street, make a left on 12th street and take that to Shore Blvd, to the park, make a right on Ditmars, right on Crescent and run home. But nooo-oooo. I had to get confused by how Main breaks in 2 and becomes 30th Avenue for 25 yards. Wahhh wahhh.
I made a left on 8th street and found myself smack-dab in the middle of the Astoria Houses.
It was like a scene out of "The Wire". Doods playing dice, smoking, brown bagging it. I even saw some old guys with fancy canes. One fancy caned gentlemen told me as I ran by that I "can't just fucking jog down this street." At this point, I decided to increase my pace, and about 50 strides later, realized I was lost, and how I got lost. But there was no way in Hades I was going to retrace my steps past Slim Charles, Bodie and D'Angelo. So I kept on running, by the time I got home I was drenched in sweat. Even my socks were wet like sponges left in a soaking pot.
I went back to walkjogrun.net and retraced my path, I ran about 6 miles. Ha. Those gentlemen in the projects were not particularly inviting. Had the situation been reversed and had they gotten lost and wound up in some place with tons of white people (like a farmers market, baby gap or vampire weekend concert) I would have been nice to them. Poo poo on them.
My loyal reader(s) know that on Mondays and Fridays I have a boxing class. I hate to miss them, but acting takes priority over boxing. Gut Punch is definitely acting, so I missed boxing last night. Upon returning home I decided to take a run. I went to this site to figure out a running path. It looked good. It would be 3 miles. Not bad, I can handle that. For those of you who have never been to Queens......this boro is why GPS was invented. There are streets, avenue, places and drives most of them are numbered. Some of them stop for no reason and pick up again a few blocks away. I've lived here for 3+ years and I still get turned around.
I think you know where this is going.
I made a wrong turn and wound up in the projects. Here is where I dun goofed up. Scroll down a bit and the pointer should be right by Vernon Blvd. Hint (it runs parallel to the river). I was supposed to take Vernon to Main and take Main to 12th street, make a left on 12th street and take that to Shore Blvd, to the park, make a right on Ditmars, right on Crescent and run home. But nooo-oooo. I had to get confused by how Main breaks in 2 and becomes 30th Avenue for 25 yards. Wahhh wahhh.
I made a left on 8th street and found myself smack-dab in the middle of the Astoria Houses.
It was like a scene out of "The Wire". Doods playing dice, smoking, brown bagging it. I even saw some old guys with fancy canes. One fancy caned gentlemen told me as I ran by that I "can't just fucking jog down this street." At this point, I decided to increase my pace, and about 50 strides later, realized I was lost, and how I got lost. But there was no way in Hades I was going to retrace my steps past Slim Charles, Bodie and D'Angelo. So I kept on running, by the time I got home I was drenched in sweat. Even my socks were wet like sponges left in a soaking pot.
I went back to walkjogrun.net and retraced my path, I ran about 6 miles. Ha. Those gentlemen in the projects were not particularly inviting. Had the situation been reversed and had they gotten lost and wound up in some place with tons of white people (like a farmers market, baby gap or vampire weekend concert) I would have been nice to them. Poo poo on them.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
"Niche over type." Does an Actor need to have a niche market? Oh, also a Dr. Phil impression.
A comment in the last post asked for a Dr. Phil montage. (hey Jamie!) But while I will certainly do this, it made me think about what I was actually going to type and how I could relate it to the actor content of my blog. PhillyRay, can you do that?!?!!?!??!
I totally can!
I have heard from people that I am "limited by my type", or have "a specific type". While I personally say to them "Hooey!" and bookend that with a raspberry, it made me think.....can an actor be so specifically a type that he invents his own niche?
After all, wouldn't my loyal reader(s) say that Danny DeVito could be considered a type? I say that he transcends "type". I say that he is himself, he is the best Danny DeVito anyone could possibly be. He is so fucking charming. He is short, yes and not the most handsome man in the world, but he just oozes charisma, and I love him and his impressive career. In other words, think "approachable blue collar type", and now think about the niche market that Kevin James has carved out for himself. I know that Mr. James had a substantial stand-up career before becoming an actor, but my point is - he wouldn't have achieved such success without a tireless work ethic and strategic planning. DeVito and James are two success stories that I crudely categorize as "niche over type".
I am at a crossroads of sorts. While I am totally cool with being a large man with a certain comedic genius, I am not sure that I am totally comfortable with attacking the acting world with said genius and creating my own sub-type, a nice if you will.
Then again, niches can become extremely fruitful. Take Dr. Phil, for example. The man is a savant. With his mustache and tan suits and down-home attitude, people immediately trust him. And, of course, an Oprah endorsement can never hurt. To me, the guy is just cashing in on common sense. Is it the accent that sets him apart? I really don't know. Anyway, he'll have the worst people in the world on his show. The worst, the absolute worst. It'll be a meth addicted mother of a toddler, who only started doing meth when her child was a newborn. Because he has earned money by putting others down, he will offer some sage advice such as this, and the crowd goes completely batshit with applause...
This got me thinking.....could I reinvent myself as a cheap knockoff of Dr. Phil? I think I could. I think that day-time TV viewers are so stupid that they would not realize they were watching sarcasm. I could be the Andy Kaufman of Astoria Queens. I think that there is a niche needing to be filled with someone who takes heinous people and tells them what they need to stop doing and what they need to start doing. Heck, the "stop" and "start" issues don't even have to be related. Besides, it's more fun that way. Well, here could be a preview of the sage advice that could indeed, rocket-launch me to success.
I totally can!
I have heard from people that I am "limited by my type", or have "a specific type". While I personally say to them "Hooey!" and bookend that with a raspberry, it made me think.....can an actor be so specifically a type that he invents his own niche?
After all, wouldn't my loyal reader(s) say that Danny DeVito could be considered a type? I say that he transcends "type". I say that he is himself, he is the best Danny DeVito anyone could possibly be. He is so fucking charming. He is short, yes and not the most handsome man in the world, but he just oozes charisma, and I love him and his impressive career. In other words, think "approachable blue collar type", and now think about the niche market that Kevin James has carved out for himself. I know that Mr. James had a substantial stand-up career before becoming an actor, but my point is - he wouldn't have achieved such success without a tireless work ethic and strategic planning. DeVito and James are two success stories that I crudely categorize as "niche over type".
I am at a crossroads of sorts. While I am totally cool with being a large man with a certain comedic genius, I am not sure that I am totally comfortable with attacking the acting world with said genius and creating my own sub-type, a nice if you will.
Then again, niches can become extremely fruitful. Take Dr. Phil, for example. The man is a savant. With his mustache and tan suits and down-home attitude, people immediately trust him. And, of course, an Oprah endorsement can never hurt. To me, the guy is just cashing in on common sense. Is it the accent that sets him apart? I really don't know. Anyway, he'll have the worst people in the world on his show. The worst, the absolute worst. It'll be a meth addicted mother of a toddler, who only started doing meth when her child was a newborn. Because he has earned money by putting others down, he will offer some sage advice such as this, and the crowd goes completely batshit with applause...
This got me thinking.....could I reinvent myself as a cheap knockoff of Dr. Phil? I think I could. I think that day-time TV viewers are so stupid that they would not realize they were watching sarcasm. I could be the Andy Kaufman of Astoria Queens. I think that there is a niche needing to be filled with someone who takes heinous people and tells them what they need to stop doing and what they need to start doing. Heck, the "stop" and "start" issues don't even have to be related. Besides, it's more fun that way. Well, here could be a preview of the sage advice that could indeed, rocket-launch me to success.
Making bold choices when auditioning. Philadelphia, and the war of attrition.
Tuesday I hopped on my beloved megabus to ride to Philly for an audition. It was my first time auditioning for this particular CD, so I was excited to meet a new face and make a good impression. They had call-backs scheduled for today, and I did not receive an invitation. That brings me to today's central point: acting is a war of attrition. A talented actor whom I worked with on "The Taking of Pelham 123" told me this:
"We can all get our fifteen minutes of fame, it just boils down to how long you can wait for it."
I see, I see. By fifteen minutes of fame, I am taking that he meant "success" rather than a flash in the pan. As I have mentioned before, I have no desire to become famous. I have no desire to have paparazzi take photos of me while I sip my coffee and bolt across Lexington Avenue. What do I desire?
What is my plan, my goal? My goal is simple, and I believe humble. I've always wanted to have a family and be the kind of father that mine was to me. My only goal is to earn enough money acting that I can give my wife and (however many progeny we bring into this world), a comfortable life. I don't mean multiple mansions and mazzeratis when they turn 17. I mean being able to cut a check for each of them to go to college and pay it in full. I mean, when my child needs braces, we get them. I mean, when my future daughter wants a dress for senior prom that costs $400 and not the $75 one, I pay for it with ease. That's what I'm talking about. That's all I want.
And I am willing to wait and pursue my dream until I achieve this goal. Look, I am 27 years old now...well 27 and a half to be pretty precise. It's too late anyway, and I can't imagine being tied to a desk. I have passed the point of no return, methinks.
Anyway, on to the actual audition. I arrived pretty early and forgot my umbrella, it was a pretty aggressive mist. Luckily I had a hearty flannel on, so it didn't look wet on camera. The script was confidential. The actors didn't receive it until they were among the next two couples to audition. Basically without getting too specific, it's about a cable installer who is really really really (I repeat) really, into his job. So when he finds out that she has to install a new customers cable he yells with excitement.
For the twenty plus minutes I waited in the holding room I could hear auditioneers screaming, and I mean screaming "WOOOOOOOOOOOO". It sounded like Ric Flair was having sex in there. Most of these guys were huge too. I am a large guy (6-3 250), so when I say that these doods were large.....trust......me.
When it was my time to go in, I asked the CD if she had been getting yelled at today. She laughed and said that she was. I asked, "Is this guy super macho and a meathead or is he just really excited about installing cable? " She told me the latter. So instead of screaming "WOOOOOOO!" like I was juiced up on roids, I let out something like this (which provided a funny contrast to my size).
I made a choice........and hopefully, while it didn't work out this time, this will make the CD remember me as bringing something different to the table. Who knows?
"We can all get our fifteen minutes of fame, it just boils down to how long you can wait for it."
I see, I see. By fifteen minutes of fame, I am taking that he meant "success" rather than a flash in the pan. As I have mentioned before, I have no desire to become famous. I have no desire to have paparazzi take photos of me while I sip my coffee and bolt across Lexington Avenue. What do I desire?
What is my plan, my goal? My goal is simple, and I believe humble. I've always wanted to have a family and be the kind of father that mine was to me. My only goal is to earn enough money acting that I can give my wife and (however many progeny we bring into this world), a comfortable life. I don't mean multiple mansions and mazzeratis when they turn 17. I mean being able to cut a check for each of them to go to college and pay it in full. I mean, when my child needs braces, we get them. I mean, when my future daughter wants a dress for senior prom that costs $400 and not the $75 one, I pay for it with ease. That's what I'm talking about. That's all I want.
And I am willing to wait and pursue my dream until I achieve this goal. Look, I am 27 years old now...well 27 and a half to be pretty precise. It's too late anyway, and I can't imagine being tied to a desk. I have passed the point of no return, methinks.
Anyway, on to the actual audition. I arrived pretty early and forgot my umbrella, it was a pretty aggressive mist. Luckily I had a hearty flannel on, so it didn't look wet on camera. The script was confidential. The actors didn't receive it until they were among the next two couples to audition. Basically without getting too specific, it's about a cable installer who is really really really (I repeat) really, into his job. So when he finds out that she has to install a new customers cable he yells with excitement.
For the twenty plus minutes I waited in the holding room I could hear auditioneers screaming, and I mean screaming "WOOOOOOOOOOOO". It sounded like Ric Flair was having sex in there. Most of these guys were huge too. I am a large guy (6-3 250), so when I say that these doods were large.....trust......me.
When it was my time to go in, I asked the CD if she had been getting yelled at today. She laughed and said that she was. I asked, "Is this guy super macho and a meathead or is he just really excited about installing cable? " She told me the latter. So instead of screaming "WOOOOOOO!" like I was juiced up on roids, I let out something like this (which provided a funny contrast to my size).
I made a choice........and hopefully, while it didn't work out this time, this will make the CD remember me as bringing something different to the table. Who knows?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Busy week so far (long entry)
At then end of my last post, I mentioned that I would write about a Philadelphia audition. While I will do that eventually, first I have to tell you about my audition on Monday for The Onion. I haven't had auditions this close to each other in quite some time, so it's hard for me to keep track. Anyway as Bob Costas says "We rewind..."
I was about to board the beloved and late arriving megabus and my bling starts to ring. I answer the call and its my legit agent telling me that I have a requested audition for The Onion. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I adore The Onion. I read the website literally every day, I have done so since I was about 16. Even on my honeymoon I had to find an internet cafe. Side note: internet cafes in Venice are predictably expensive. The Onion is in the midst of launching two television shows. The Onion Sports network is going to be on Comedy Central and The Onion News Network is going to be on IFC. This audition was for the OSN. Normally I would be elated, but this time, my heart dropped to me knees.
An old friend was getting married the next day in Kennebunkport. We needed to allow 6-7 hours for the drive up, the ceremony was at 430pm, my audition was at 1030am - that was the earliest possible time. I told them, that I sadly, could not attend. F#############ck I thought. We drove up to Kennebunkport, forgot about the lost chance and danced the night away. I had been having trouble with my blackberry's reception, so I just put it on silent and left it in the hotel room.
When we were in Portland my phone alerted me to a new message. It was my agent! My agent is usually very sweet, this time she sounded a bit perturbed.
"Phillip, its _____. I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion. Call me, 212 xxx-xxxx"
In her defense, I ALWAYS pick up the phone. Literally. On the first ring. My acting career comes first. So if I were to go MIA, well....this could definitely be a cause for concern. The time was 6pm and it was Saturday, of course the office wasn't open. Nevertheless I left a message.
"Hey it's Phillip calling! I am confirming for Monday. I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, but I'm up in Maine and my reception is in and out. I hope the audition is still on the table and I'll call you Monday to re-confirm. 201-xxx-xxxx"
I called at 930am Monday morning and the audition was on! Hooray, I was all set for 330pm. I got the sides and I noticed a peculiar piece of direction. Typically before the words you are supposed to say there will be directions in parentheses. It will look like this...
AGENT
(perturbed)
Phillip, its your agent. I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion. Call me, 212 555-6823!
As you can see, if you are auditioning for the role of my agent in the made for TV movie based on my life, "Banished to Extra Work: The PhillyRay Story", you would read the lines with a bit of an edge, add in some conflict and perhaps raise your voice a bit here and there. Got it? Great. Now the sides for the onion had a bizarre word in parentheses, eh not really bizarre, just uncommon. It was "inscrutable". I remembered that the word existed, but that's about it. I looked it up into google.searchmachine_internet (all one word) and typed "define inscrutable." Apparently it is synonymous with mysterious, clandestine etc.
Bingo. One of my guideposts that my sensei has taught me is mystery/secret/confidentiality. When I went in to the audition room, the CD asked me if I had any questions.
I said, "Yeah man, I do. When you say inscrutable.....you want me to say the line with an element of mystery, you want me to hold back on what I know, like I'm not telling the whole story?"
The CD's eyes lit up.
"Ya know what? I haven't seen that yet, I'd like to."
Realizing that I had potentially dug myself into a black hole of perilous acting I said "So would I! Ha."
As background, the role I was auditioning for was a professional body surfer who earns a comfortable living doing so. His line was "I just try to keep my body straight and go as far as I can go." So I endowed the character with a sense that he knows that he is making a killing at a sport that chubby 8 year olds can do, so he wants his secret to be safe. Boom, I did it, and the CD asked me to stay put because he had yet another script he'd like me to read. That also went well. After my second attempt at the second script he clapped his hands and said "Perfect! Just like that!"
Ok, let's digest. The difference between my audition and previous actors' auditions was that I looked up the word "inscrutable" and applied it to the frame work that I know. His reaction was a pleasant one when I asked if he'd like to see it in a mysterious way. To me, that means that no other actor tried that, at least successfully. Will I get cast? Who knows. Do I have a fighting chance because I made a smart decision?
Absolutely.
I was about to board the beloved and late arriving megabus and my bling starts to ring. I answer the call and its my legit agent telling me that I have a requested audition for The Onion. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I adore The Onion. I read the website literally every day, I have done so since I was about 16. Even on my honeymoon I had to find an internet cafe. Side note: internet cafes in Venice are predictably expensive. The Onion is in the midst of launching two television shows. The Onion Sports network is going to be on Comedy Central and The Onion News Network is going to be on IFC. This audition was for the OSN. Normally I would be elated, but this time, my heart dropped to me knees.
An old friend was getting married the next day in Kennebunkport. We needed to allow 6-7 hours for the drive up, the ceremony was at 430pm, my audition was at 1030am - that was the earliest possible time. I told them, that I sadly, could not attend. F#############ck I thought. We drove up to Kennebunkport, forgot about the lost chance and danced the night away. I had been having trouble with my blackberry's reception, so I just put it on silent and left it in the hotel room.
When we were in Portland my phone alerted me to a new message. It was my agent! My agent is usually very sweet, this time she sounded a bit perturbed.
"Phillip, its _____. I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion. Call me, 212 xxx-xxxx"
In her defense, I ALWAYS pick up the phone. Literally. On the first ring. My acting career comes first. So if I were to go MIA, well....this could definitely be a cause for concern. The time was 6pm and it was Saturday, of course the office wasn't open. Nevertheless I left a message.
"Hey it's Phillip calling! I am confirming for Monday. I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, but I'm up in Maine and my reception is in and out. I hope the audition is still on the table and I'll call you Monday to re-confirm. 201-xxx-xxxx"
I called at 930am Monday morning and the audition was on! Hooray, I was all set for 330pm. I got the sides and I noticed a peculiar piece of direction. Typically before the words you are supposed to say there will be directions in parentheses. It will look like this...
AGENT
(perturbed)
Phillip, its your agent. I don't know where you are......but you have an audition for The Onion. Call me, 212 555-6823!
As you can see, if you are auditioning for the role of my agent in the made for TV movie based on my life, "Banished to Extra Work: The PhillyRay Story", you would read the lines with a bit of an edge, add in some conflict and perhaps raise your voice a bit here and there. Got it? Great. Now the sides for the onion had a bizarre word in parentheses, eh not really bizarre, just uncommon. It was "inscrutable". I remembered that the word existed, but that's about it. I looked it up into google.searchmachine_internet (all one word) and typed "define inscrutable." Apparently it is synonymous with mysterious, clandestine etc.
Bingo. One of my guideposts that my sensei has taught me is mystery/secret/confidentiality. When I went in to the audition room, the CD asked me if I had any questions.
I said, "Yeah man, I do. When you say inscrutable.....you want me to say the line with an element of mystery, you want me to hold back on what I know, like I'm not telling the whole story?"
The CD's eyes lit up.
"Ya know what? I haven't seen that yet, I'd like to."
Realizing that I had potentially dug myself into a black hole of perilous acting I said "So would I! Ha."
As background, the role I was auditioning for was a professional body surfer who earns a comfortable living doing so. His line was "I just try to keep my body straight and go as far as I can go." So I endowed the character with a sense that he knows that he is making a killing at a sport that chubby 8 year olds can do, so he wants his secret to be safe. Boom, I did it, and the CD asked me to stay put because he had yet another script he'd like me to read. That also went well. After my second attempt at the second script he clapped his hands and said "Perfect! Just like that!"
Ok, let's digest. The difference between my audition and previous actors' auditions was that I looked up the word "inscrutable" and applied it to the frame work that I know. His reaction was a pleasant one when I asked if he'd like to see it in a mysterious way. To me, that means that no other actor tried that, at least successfully. Will I get cast? Who knows. Do I have a fighting chance because I made a smart decision?
Absolutely.
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